


Firsts

by playitagain



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24322033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playitagain/pseuds/playitagain
Summary: A series of firsts shared between Pope and JJ.
Relationships: JJ/Pope (Outer Banks)
Comments: 32
Kudos: 189





	Firsts

**Author's Note:**

> There are not enough jjpope fics out there so I'm just trying to do my part and contribute. I've read all the ones on here at least three times at this point.
> 
> This fic does not follow canon at all, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless.

Pope doesn’t know when the feelings start. He can’t pinpoint one exact moment. He thinks it was a bunch of small moments, woven together and burrowing in his heart until they finally burst, heart pounding and cheeks heating with each touch. He does remember the moment they burst, when those little moments finally snapped together and cleared the haze. 

JJ is sitting across from him, laugh echoing in the small room as he passes the blunt along to Kie. He’s already offered it to Pope, who turned it down and instead grabbed another beer. 

It’s one of those days JJ can’t sit still. They had spent the majority of it on the boat and JJ had been in and out of the water all day. He had even pushed Pope in at one point, smile bright and laugh echoing as Pope made contact with the water. It was hard to be mad at JJ when he was like this. It was so rare to see JJ happy and smiling, without the weight of the world on his shoulders. 

That was Pope’s first indication. It was the first time his heart started pounding in his chest, listening to JJ laugh so bright and warm. It has warmth spreading in Pope’s chest, sudden and bursting. The feeling has Pope stopping for only a moment, watching as JJ clutches his stomach, nearly doubled over in laughter. 

Pope sits on it for only a moment, lets it settle in his chest before he shoves it away. He files it for later, because JJ is laughing in front of him and he has to reach forward, barely kicking up enough to grab JJ’s hand and pull him into the water. 

Pope watches JJ now and he realizes he can’t sit on those emotions. JJ is smiling as he talks about their latest adventure, and Pope’s heart pounds as the other drapes an arm across the couch. He knows JJ doesn’t mean too, can’t mean too, but his fingers are brushing Pope’s shoulder, fingers barely brushing the skin where the edge of Pope’s shirt rests. 

Pope takes another sip of his deer and watches his friends talk. The joint they’re passing back and forth seems to be settling in as they start to decompress. He can see the moment it really hits JJ as the other leans over, shoulder resting against Pope’s. They’re chatting lowly now, quiet as they huddle closer together. 

Pope takes this moment to sit back, hand moving to rub at his chest. The feeling isn’t new. Pope can remember in eighth grade when he was partnered with another boy in class. They had grown close and Pope was so worried that he actually researched his symptoms. He was convinced he was sick until his mother sat him down and explained what a crush was. He had felt so stupid in that moment. 

That crush had been small and quick. Pope had learned to ignore those feelings and he knows that he needed to do that now. He couldn’t act on whatever this is. He couldn’t put that on JJ. He couldn’t risk their friendship over a stupid crush, one he was sure would go away. 

So he shoves the feelings down, stuffing them away in an attempt to snuff them out. 

\----------------------------------

They don’t go away though. Pope can’t help the warmth that fills his chest every time he sees JJ. He can’t help the worry the courses through his veins every time he sees JJ hurt. He wants to pull the other close, protect him from the world. He doesn’t have the right though. JJ isn’t his, will never be his. 

It’s a particularly hot day when it happens. 

Pope is a little tipsy. The beer is going down easy today, smooth and cold. The air is warm and there is a ting of humidity that causes Pope’s skin to be sticky with sweat. He’s going to jump into the water soon, but JJ is sitting at the back of the boat. He seems a little off today and Pope hates to think that it is probably his father’s fault. He had gone home two nights ago and had been distant since. 

Pope blames the alcohol when he stumbles over to JJ, tripping over something long forgotten on the ground. It is a bit of a blur as he falls forward, and JJ lets out a groan as Pope lands on him. 

There is a moment that Pope just wants to stay, curl himself right into JJ’s arms. But he knows he can’t. This was already too much and he knows JJ doesn’t do well with sudden movements and he instantly feels guilty. 

He is quick to push himself up, words of apology on his tongue, but he pauses. The words slip away as he looks at JJ. He’s never been this close to the other. He’s never been able to count the freckles across JJ’s nose or notice the flakes of green in his eyes. 

It’s in that moment, looking into those blue eyes, that Pope makes a big mistake. He leans forward and presses their lips together. 

JJ doesn’t pull away 

The shock is there though, a moment where JJ doesn’t move. Then JJ is kissing him, arms wrapping around Pope’s neck, pulling him close. Pope reciprocates ten fold. He’s been dreaming about this for months. The little crush he couldn’t shake had only grown into what Pope could only call liking the other, liking him as more than a friend.

“What the hell are you guys doing? The water is fucking beautiful today,” Kie calls. The two of them spring apart then, and in the process Pope finds that he dropped his beer bottle during his fall and now the broken glass is digging into his palm. 

“Fuck,” he groans. But he can’t focus on the pain because JJ is right there and Pope just wants to shift forward and connect their lips again. He doesn’t though. He doesn’t know what came over him, but he can’t do that again. He won’t put himself on JJ like that. 

JJ is holding his hand now, frown pulling down his beautiful lips. There is a piece of glass sticking out of Pope’s hand, small but annoying. JJ is careful as he reaches forward, gentle as he tugs the piece free and tosses it over the side of the boat. “The salt water will help,” he states. 

It’s over just like that. JJ is off, tugging his shirt over his head before he jumps in after his friends. Pope has to take a minute though because he just kissed JJ. It will probably be the one and only time that he gets to do that so he files it away. He stores it in his heart in a place tucked away where nothing can touch it, where nothing will taint the memory. 

He wants to sit in it more, sort out each and every detail of the memory so that he won’t forget, but his friends are calling him and he knows he can’t make any more excuses not to jump in and join them. So he does just that. He jumps in after JJ, palm stinging when it comes into contact with the salt water. He locks eyes with JJ for only a moment, but Kie is quick to dunk him, her laugh the last thing he hears as he goes under. 

They never talk about it. 

\----------------------------------

It’s a month later. 

JJ is chatting up a touron and Pope can’t help the burning feeling. He knows enough to call it jealousy, that little green monster that settles in his stomach. JJ isn’t his though. He shouldn’t be jealous. One kiss does not constitute jealousy. 

But she’s placing a hand on JJ’s shoulder and Pope can’t help but take another long sip of his beer. He feels like he must be durning holes in the back of JJ’s head as he watches them chat. 

Pope must be seeing things though. Had he had more to drink than he thought? Was JJ walking away from a willing touron who was practically throwing herself at him? Was JJ walking in his direction? 

“Pope-”

And he kisses him. Pope simply drops his beer and lunges forward. There is beer on his sandal now, but JJ has his hands on Pope’s hips, holding them steady, holding him up. 

It doesn’t last long. JJ pulls away and Pope knows he’s done something wrong. He went and ruined this. He ruined his friendship with the other, probably just lost his best friend. 

“How drunk are you?” The question comes as a surprise to Pope and he gives the other a confused look. JJ simply sighs, hand slipping into Pope’s as he tugs the other to the side of the party, just out of sight. “Seriously Pope, how the hell drunk are you?” 

It was only a moment ago Pope thought he was drunk, but he’s only had one drink. Actually, most of the drink is stuck to his foot, making it stick to the bottom of his flip flop uncomfortably. “I’ve barely had one drink.” 

That seems to be the answer that JJ is looking for. He leans forward then and Pope feels his back hit the tree, JJ’s arms trapping him as their lips finally meet. Pope only lets his shock sit for a moment before he is kissing the other back, fingers moving to slip into golden locks, knocking off JJ’s hat. 

But then he thinks JJ might be the drunk one, because a sober JJ wouldn’t be here, kissing Pope, instead of out trying to pick up the nearest touron, easy and satisfying. The thought has Pope pulling away, out of breath and bursting with so much warmth and happiness. He has to make sure JJ isn’t drunk. He has to make sure he isn’t taking advantage of the other. 

“What about you? How much have you had to drink?” 

JJ is looking at him, blue eyes shining in the moonlight. They’re a shade darker than usual and Pope thinks it might be because the other is turned on and that though alone has Pope wanting to lunge forward and crash their lips together again. 

“I haven’t had anything to drink.” JJ’s voice is steady, even and Pope believes him. He believes him enough to connect their lips again, fire burning in his chest as JJ’s fingers finally find the skin just below the hem of his shirt, thumb brushing bare skin. 

That’s how John B finds them, JJ’s hands stuffed under Pope’s shirt and Pope’s fingers tugging on JJ’s hair, hat long forgotten on the ground. “What the fuck, JJ? I’ve been look-” The words stop mid sentence as JJ pulls away and John B finally gets a look at just who the hell JJ is making out with. Pope imagines it must be a pretty big shock. Not only is JJ making out with a guy, but it’s Pope of all people. “Oh- I didn’t know I was interrupting something.” The other looks between the two of them, back and forth a few times. Pope can see the question in his eyes, but he doesn’t know what to say. He doesn’t know what this is. 

“What’s up?” JJ asks, popping the ‘p.’ He hasn’t moved away from Pope, but he has at least had the decency to pull his hands out of his shirt and instead find Pope’s waist. 

John B finally lets his eyes land on JJ and Pope is pretty sure they are having a whole conversation with their eyes because JJ is shrugging now, like John B just asked him a silent question, and John B raises an eyebrow at the shrug. “Kie was looking for you, but I’ll tell her you’re busy.” 

“Nah, I’ll go find her.” And JJ’s hand is suddenly in Pope’s pulling him forward and past John B. Pope looks back at the other, confused and wondering what the hell is happening right now. 

Once they are out of ear shot, JJ turns to look at Pope, smile on his lips, eyes shining, “We can head back to John B’s after. No one will interrupt us there.” 

Pope doesn’t know what to say. He simply follows, a bit shocked as JJ looks for Kie. 

The only problem is that they don’t talk again that night. JJ simply finds Kie (she had wanted to know if he has any weed on him) and pulls Pope from the party. The walk is pretty much a blur and before Pope knows it, he is being pushed against the door of John B’s house, JJ a ball of fire and passion as they stumble in. 

\--------------------------------------

Pope doesn’t know if he can do this anymore. They don’t talk about it, but Pope still finds himself with a handful of JJ after each party, back pressed to the door of John B’s spare bedroom. JJ will even pull him aside after a day on the boat, desperate and warm as he presses into Pope. 

They act normal otherwise or as normal as two people who are sneaking around their friends back can be. It’s come to a point where Pope is getting a bit awkward around JJ because he doesn’t know if today will end in his back pressed into the bed or not. The group definitely notices and Pope wonders if John B has told them or if they are simply being left in the dark. 

It takes Pope a while to talk himself up. He will start talking, try to work out a sentence, but then JJ will simply lean forward and connect their lips, searing and passionate and Pope can only think about how much he wants this to be more. He wants all the things inbetween the kissing. What would it be like to hold JJ’s hand? What would it be like to be able to lean into the other while they were simply hanging out with their friends? What would it be like if there were feelings behind the kisses? 

Pope doesn’t plan on doing it today. He had talked himself out of it only moments ago when JJ had pressed him into the wall, smirk wide and satisfied before he slipped away to Kie’s call of his name. But then JJ is sitting on the couch and he looks good and Pope simply wants to go over and curl up next to him, hold him close. He wants that so much that he takes the last few steps across the room with as much confidence as he can muster before he sits down. 

“We need to talk,” he says, firm as he looks over at JJ. He seems to have startled the other, caught him off guard, as their eyes connect. Pope almost loses his resolve right there because JJ all of a sudden looks dejected, like he knows what Pope is going to say. 

“It’s fine,” JJ says and Pope has never seen this look on JJ. He’s seen the other in pain, sad and rejected from the actions of his father. He’s seen the other disappointed, but this was different. JJ seems like all of those things in this moment, but rejection is shining through the most. “We can end whatever this thing is. I’ll stop.” 

Pope is shocked. He looks at the other, mouth hanging open for too long. JJ is getting up now because Pope left such a long silence, and Pope has to pull himself together before the other can get away. 

He is quick to reach out, fingers grabbing JJ’s arm as he pulls him back down to the couch. He doesn’t even think about it as he lets his hand rest on JJ’s thigh, JJ’s warm hand under his. JJ seems to notice because he glances down for only a moment before he meets Pope’s eyes again. “What are you talking about? I don’t want this to end.” He takes a second then, leg bouncing with nervous energy. “If anything, I want more.” 

The silence settles for a moment. JJ is looking at him and Pope wishes he would read minds. The other looks like his brain is working in overtime right now, processing and sorting through his emotions. Pope lets him have this, lets him process. This is something that Pope can do for him. 

“You want more?” The question has Pope pulling his hand away from the other. He knew this was going to happen. He knew the other would reject this, him. It’s why he had filed the last kiss away, stored in his heart so he could replay it when he was hurting and lonely and missed the other. “Like, to be with me?”

Pope bits his lip as he nods his head. He came into this sure that he was going to lose a friend, but he isn’t so sure now. Pope watches the smile pull up the corner of JJ’s lips, eyes shining as he reaches forward to grab Pope’s hand. Pope’s breath catches as JJ lets their fingers lock together, finally speaking, “Me too.”

Pope doesn’t need to be told twice. He lunges forward to connect their lips, fire burning in his chest as he moves himself closer, fingers tangling in JJ’s hair. The other is laughing against his lips, happy and bright. Pope wants to bottle the sound up, play it over and over again. It’s like music to his ears. 

JJ is the first to pull away though, eyes soft but searching. They stay like that for a moment, foreheads presses together before JJ breaths into the silence. “Are you sure you want this with me?” He says it in a way that breaks Pope’s heart, like he is damaged goods, like he doesn’t deserve this. Pope wants to wrap him in his arms and hold him close and tell him how amazing he is. 

“Yes,” Pope decides on, making sure to keep eye contact with JJ. Pope tries to convey his feelings with his eyes, warm and loving in a way he hopes JJ understands. 

The other seems to get the message as he leans forward to connect their lips again. Pope falls back against the couch, JJ hovering over him. The look on his face has shifted, one of pure happiness and joy to one that is coated in mischief and passion. Pope’s breath catches as the other moves his lips down Pope’s neck, warm and welcome. 

JJ unravels him that night, gentle and kind. Pope can tell it’s his first time with a guy, but the effort is much appreciated as he presses into Pope, cautious and a bit awkward. It may not be perfect, but Pope can’t help the way his heart bursts and soars just by being with the other. 

\--------------------------------------

“JJ, there’s a touron eyeing you over there.” 

Pope knows the words are met as a joke, but it doesn’t sting any less when they leave Kie’s lips, teasing and giggling. She’s had a few drinks tonight and Pope watches as she settles into her seat next to the fire, a smile on her face. Pope knows she’s had more to drink than usual because she normally wouldn’t make a comment like that. She’s usually the one discouraging JJ from doing just what she is insinuating right now. 

JJ does glance over his shoulder. Pope watches as he drags his eyes up and down before he shrugs, turning back to the group to drape an arm over Pope’s shoulders. It’s something new, sitting this close to JJ. They had agreed to keep the PDA to a minimum until they told their friends, but it had never been the right moment. 

“I’m good right here.” JJ leans closer, arm moving to rest across Pope’s shoulder so he can put his full weight on JJ rather than the log behind him. 

Apparently they are telling their friends right now.

The group pauses at the action, eyes darting between the two of them. Pope swallows the lump in his throat as he watches them process. 

“Fuck, that’s why you haven’t picked anyone up in ages.” Kei is the first to speak. “What the hell happened to no pogue on pogue macking?”

Pope has to be honest. He completely forgot about that rule. “I’ve always been good at breaking the rules,” JJ simply shrugs. 

Kei doesn’t say anything to that, simply shakes her head as she takes another sip of beer, leaning back and closing her eyes. Pope wonders for a moment why they didn’t tell their friends sooner. He knew there would be lots of teasing, but it wasn’t like the others were going to have an actual problem with it. 

“Well, I, for one, am just happy I don’t have to keep this a secret anymore,” John B answers, raising his glass in their direction before he takes a long sip. 

Pope doesn’t know why he is so relieved. He hadn’t realized how nervous he had actually been to tell his friends, to come out to them. There was always that worry that they wouldn’t accept this, that they would kick them out of the group. Or worse, try to break them up. He should have had more faith in them. 

JJ doesn’t say anything else, simply leans back with a satisfied smile, lips moving to press against Pope’s forehead before he takes a drag. “Fuck, just don’t be all mushy around us,” Kei groans, mock disgust playing across her features. 

JJ simply laughs at her words, turning to press his lips to Pope’s. This kiss is different from others, it’s all laughs and smiles, infectious and warm. Pope can’t help the smile on his lips, laugh echoing when Kei throws her forgotten bag in their direction to get them to pull apart. They do, but JJ never lets go of his hand. 

This time Pope presses JJ against the door to his room, John B’s voice echoing in the background for them to keep it quiet. 

\-----------------------------------------

“I love you.”

Pope is nearly asleep, breath even and eyes closed when the words are whispered into the night. He wants to spring up. He wants to kiss the other. He wants to tell the other he loves him too. 

He can’t though. JJ thinks he is asleep and those whispered words weren’t met for his ears, not yet. Pope hopes that they will be one day. He hopes that JJ will tell him when he is awake. He can live with this for now though. He knows the other loves him and Pope won’t push for more. 

He pretends to wake up gradually, shifting slightly before he opens his eyes. They’re on the hammock, one of their usual spots now, and Pope’s head is touched under JJ’s chin. He can feel the other’s lips in his hair and Pope doesn’t want to move, but he knows he has to head home soon. 

“How was your nap?” JJ asks, shifting enough for Pope to pull his head away and look at the other. 

“Good,” Pope answers, a tired smile on his lips as he leans forward to peck the other’s. JJ smiles into the kiss, doesn’t push as Pope pulls back. 

“I love you.”

Pope’s wanted to say those words, utter them over and over again so the other knows. JJ has spent years thinking no one could love him and Pope wants to ingrain into his system that he deserves love, kindness. 

JJ seems a bit shocked by the words, eyes wide as he searches Pope’s face. It breaks Pope’s heart to think the other probably hasn’t heard those words in so long. He doesn’t even know if JJ has ever heard those words. He suddenly regrets not saying them earlier, especially as he watches the smile that pulls up JJ’s lips, eyes bright and shining. 

He doesn’t say anything back. Pope doesn’t know when he’ll say them without the blanket of sleep, but Pope doesn’t care. He knows, heard when he wasn’t supposed to, and doesn’t care if JJ ever says it to him aloud again. This is all worth it. 

He kisses JJ then, burning and warm and with as much love as he can muster. 

\-----------------------------------------

Pope falls off his board and it hurts when his shoulder makes contact with it. He struggles to get to the surface and has to take a few minutes to catch his breath before he can even paddle in. 

The board is heavy as he drags it onto shore, leaving it just next to his towel as he plops down. It jostles his shoulder a bit and he takes a moment to swing his arm around, wincing as pain shoots up his arm. 

“Did you hit the board?” 

Pope startles as he looks up, eyes meeting the deep blues ones he loves so much. JJ looks concerned, worry lines creasing his forehand as he takes a seat next to Pope, board forgotten in the sand next to him. 

“I’m fine. Don’t stop on my account.” JJ isn’t usually one miss out on good waves and today has some of the best they’ve seen in a while. He wouldn’t want JJ to miss out on one of his favorite activities just because Pope wasn’t as good. 

“I wanted a break anyway,” JJ mumbles, grabbing a beer from the cooler. He takes a long sip of it before he shifts, reaching forward to press the cold bottle gently against Pope’s shoulder. There is already a bruise forming and Pope thinks icing it is probably a good idea. 

Pope takes that moment to relax a bit, pulling one knee up to his chest as he leans forward, making sure to keep his shoulder in place. The cold beer is actually helping a bit, soothing some of the initial sting. “Thanks, but you don’t have too.” 

“But I can’t do this out there.” Pope doesn’t have time to ask JJ what he is talking about before lips are pressing against his. JJ is gentle as he shifts closer and Pope can tell he’s being cautious with his shoulder, one hand moving to Pope’s cheek while the other holds the beer in place. 

The problem is that JJ can get easily distracted and this is one of those times. He shifts a bit, just enough to deepen the kiss and forget about the beer in his hand until it’s spilling on the towels. The two of them spring apart, laughter loud and oh so happy as they look at each other. 

“I love you.”

Pope’s breath catches, the laughter coming to a complete halt as he looks at JJ, so open and vulnerable. Pope knows he’s heard those words before, a whispered moment he wasn't supposed to hear, but this is different. JJ is saying the words for Pope to hear this time, spilling his heart and trusting Pope to hold it close and safe. 

He trusts Pope with his love and that makes Pope’s heart burst. It makes him happier than he ever thought he could be. Fuck. He loves this boy so much, broken and tattered and passionate and loyal. 

“I love you, too.” Pope breathes, and the beer is forgotten as he lunges forward, laugh echoing over the beach as he pushes JJ to the ground. 

They’re still smiling when their friends approach, teasing in a way that has the pair only laughing harder. Fuck, he still isn’t sure how he got so lucky.

**Author's Note:**

> Is there one scene you're trying to figure out what the 'first' is? The party scene where JJ and Pope kiss for the second time? That's their first time being caught by a friend (but definitely not their last).
> 
> Guys, I'm honestly obsessed with these two. If there is anything you want to see, let me know and I'll try to write something. I'm not making promises I'll write everything, but I'll try my best to incorporate your ideas into my fics. I might open up my tumblr (playitaagain) for shorter requests, but I'm not sure yet. Thoughts?


End file.
